Got a complaint? Have you ever been hangry? Have you got someone in your life who seems to complain, complain and complain? Find out more, read on now!
Have you been complaining for sometime about your job? Your relationship? Your neighbours rubbish bin on your driveway?.....
When we complain to our friends and family about our life’s circumstances we are often seeking some form of support. This can be reassurance, agreement and or outrage! Occasionally we complain to the person we want to change. Now this is when it gets really interesting. Perhaps you complain to your flatmate about the rubbish bin in a backhanded way for them to do something about it? Or perhaps you complain about the dishes hoping your partner will do them tonight.
Complaints tell us information if you only listen to the messages. Behind the complaint there are underlying reasons for our behaviour, the deeper reasons for why we are complaining and what we actually want. It is important to uncover these reasons in order to actually get a solution otherwise you will likely keep complaining because you are not getting what you want.
If you have been complaining for a while – here are some questions which will get you to a good outcome and progress forwards.
First of all: What am I wanting? And What is the best outcome here?
You need to honestly analyse what you want at the deeper level. Where is the anger coming from? What is the underlying issue here? Then you can put steps in place and start taking those actions to get what you want. Okay you want an hour to yourself in the mornings? - make it happen! Okay you just want some attention from your spouse? Make it happen in a positive way rather than a complaining way! Get creative, come up with 3 ideas of ways you can create happy memories and fun with your spouse.
If you are complaining about someone: Lead by example, hold yourself higher and figure out at least one possible reason behind their behaviour – what is this person seeking? And then see if you can figure out a strategy that will address the situation in a way that will get you an amazing outcome!
I know recently when I was overseas I could get a bit cranky when I didn’t know where my next meal was coming from and I was feeling hungry. So when my friend noticed this he could help with the planning of the next meal then surprise surprise my anxiety reduced and my hangry turned into simply hungry getting excited about the next meal!
And then finally: you have choices – do you want to complain about this area of your life? Or do you want to take some actions to change the circumstances or your response to this situation?
Get in touch for assistance in navigating your complaints through Life Coaching and start moving towards a brighter future now.
In health & happiness,
Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) Trainer
BHSc Physiotherapy, post grad Cert Sport and Exercise Science
P.S. Remember Life coaching is offered in Auckland (NZ) and online through skype too